I will always be…me (final part of 3/3) Life of a man

– 28yo onwards –

Yeap, if you thought I had finished, I decided to come back with the post-credit scenes. After all, I am not 28.

I will always be me. That’s it: me, only. No other fucking labels that society try to create in order to group each human being: black, white, gay, straight, European, American … I am me, first and foremost. And that’s who I want to be. I will do whatever I decide I want with my life, with my time, with my feelings. So should you. Never be afraid of saying “no”, of telling the truth, of following your gut. If you don’t live and love your life, no one can do that for you (even if a few will try, but trying is not the same as doing it).

And according to the latest addition to my playlist… “If I was you, I’d wanna be me too, I’d wanna be me. Too.” (Meghan Traynor – Me too) Well worth listening to.

So the last years of my life I have accomplished many many things I am proud of:

  • became a judge for the Scottish Hotel Awards and was mentored by the one and only Gary, with amazing connections developed after that including Renata and Peter. Took home a couple of awards: Overall Customer Service Excellence + Best use of Local food & Drink, with the Waterfront Fishouse Oban, for the Highlands & Islands; finalist with Breizh Cafe in the Perthshire Chamber of Commerce awards; 1 Rosette awarded with Pig’Halle Brasserie; finalist with Topolabamba as the Best Mexican in The Food Awards Scotland last year, again finalist with The Entertainment Awards this year, Top 30 on Tripadvisor for Glasgow; Hospitality Rising Star medal from Scottish Hotel Awards (just before I became a judge).
  • had the pleasure to work and learn the “Joyeux de la vie” way of running a restaurant with the explendid Paula & passionate Herve (Breizh & PigHalle), and they have been by far my inspiration of louder background music in the restaurant and the flowing atmosphere some of my staff keep listening to me mentioning it.
  • Did a Reiki Course so I could meditate better in times of stress
  • Started my healthy routine (or almost healthy) after I found out I am hypogliceamic, and had the two most amazing personal trainers ever, Jon in Perth and Jay nowadays in Glasgow, and they totally changed my mind about going to the gym and actually have fun with it.
  • Got an A on my HNC in business (didn’t finish the degree though as something more important and valuable came on my way ;)) – but tried to keep up with my managerial studies with Tickety-Book in Dunblane, which is much more fun & I get much faster results.
  • then, last, but not least: being able to get reunited with my Oban mentors Paul & Calum in their venture in Glasgow, also as known as… Topolabamba. And them both inspire me to be the best I can, every day. Mr P in the command of the operations: the most inspiring guy when it comes to commitment in providing the best atmosphere, service and product to anybody who walks through our doors, as well as having our staff as number 1 and looking after us extremely well. And that folks, is the reason that dropping out of Uni was more valuable. Learning on a daily basis with the best plus developing my managerial skills with Tickety-boo, it beats any University Course in Hospitality & Management.

Now, everything does come with a price. I havent seen none of my family since 2011. Holidays were inexistent until my Bixa got me into two of the most amazing holidays this year and my friend Ju from Brazil came over to celebrate our Bday travelling around Scotland. Relationships (or possible relationships) got dismantled before they could have even developed – trying to work in hospitality and see someone who works 9-5 Mon-Fri does not work, trust me.

I met the person who I thought it would be the one, but it was on that exact moment when we were in two completely different career paths, and my choice made me not available on weekends, when he was off.

Do I regret making those career choices and giving up on love? No. Not at all. Does it hurt? Yeah, sometimes, when I look back and think the space beside me in the bed could have been filled with the same cute ginger haired face every morning (and not with random twinks who insist in referring to me as a ‘hot daddy’, or pshyco twinks which was even worse).

Then, remember when I mentioned “try to see things through other perspective”. If it werent these choices I made, I probably would not have met half of you. Either in Oban, Perth, Glasgow, or through my trips with the Scottish Hotel Awards, which I got to visit sooo many beautiful places around in Scotland. So, family, we do not choose (although I must say I do love mine to bits). But the extended family, we can choose. And that’s pretty much what you guys are for me. You have all embraced me in a certain way that I can’t be more thankful for and you make my stay in Scotland a wee “Adventures of Denny in the Kiltland”

You inspired me so so so much, that even brought my artistic side back existent during my 7-14yo era. The side of me who would write poems on all walls in my bedroom, in my parents home. The one who would drawn, who would write quotes such as “prejudice is just another word for ignorance”. So, I blame you all for not being able to contain my artistic side. This time, I could not write on the walls, as I am constantly on the move due to renting a place. Basically whenever I write on a wall can also be read: I found my cosy wee place. It feels home. But anyway, so, because I cant write on walls, I decided to write on my skin. This is also as known as my tattoos, which are made of the quotes & explanations below:

1 – “Love more, live more” : basically a summary of words of the quotes and meaning ‘Love is a choice you make from moment to moment’. Therefore, ‘I love, because live without love is a like a blunt pencil: pointless’. Be kind, be gentle, comprehend, share. Love more what is around you, live more what is there to be lived.

2 – “If there were no changes, there wouldnt be butterflies” – Changes are necessary for progression, evolution. And there might be a beauty of a life after the change, so don’t be afraid to facing change. It will happen. Let it be.

3 – “A ship in port is safe, but that’s not what ships were built for” : don’t be complacent, dont be afraid. Spread your wings and fly away babes. So many things there to be seen, so many things out there to be experienced.

4 – “Remember, when dealing with people you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion” , by the Scottish chap Dale Carnegie, in his book ‘How to win friends and influence people’. The battle of logic against emotion on my chest. The work of Da Vinci (refraction of the lenses and Vetruvian Man) agains the cupid by Raphael. Two antagonistic geniuses who lived in the same era and their principles. Which one wins? The explosion of colours reveals my answer. But, does it really? 😉

5 – “In life sometimes you have to be like a shark: you have to keep moving through trouble waters, otherwise you die” . Again, the choice is always ours to make. Be like a shark when that doubt comes.

6 – “Birds born in a cage think flying is a disease”, this is the latest one, still to add some colour. But pretty much my stand against homophobia, small minded people who keep judging others without realising the consequences of their judgment. Anybody is allowed an opinion, whether we agree/disagree/partly agree with it it is our choice to make. Judgement that might impact severely on someone else’s life in other hand, I don’t think so, sorry. The main difference from opinion and judgment for me is: opinion we ask, judgment we don’t (so it doesn’t really matter for me if anyone judges me, as I am really no interested in their opinion/point of view). Does that make sense?

So, all in all. If anyone has a problem with me being me, then the previous sentence says it all: the problem is all theirs, not mine. I will let them go and deal with it. Their problem, not mine.

And I will always be me. And you should always be  you. Don’t let anybody take that away from you. Absolutely no one.

Much love,

D x

“if I was you, I’d wanna be ‘me’ too, I’d wanna be ‘me’ too” – Be the ‘me’ that you want to be xx